How Brother Rabbit Frightened His Neighbors
When Uncle Remus was in a good humor he turned the most trifling
incidents into excuses for amusing the little boy with his stories. One
night while he was hunting for a piece of candle on the shelf that took
the place of a mantel over the fireplace, he knocked down a tin plate.
It fell upon the hearth with a tremendous clatter.
"Dar now!" exclaimed Uncle Remus. "Hit 's a blessin' dat dat ar platter
is got mo' backbone dan de common run er crockery, 'kaze 't would er bin
bust all ter flinderations long time ago. Dat ar platter is got dents on
it w'at Miss Sally put dar w'en she 'uz a little bit er gal. Yet dar 't
is, en right dis minnit hit'll hol' mo' vittles dan w'at I got ter put
in it.
"I lay," the old man continued, leaning his hand against the chimney and
gazing at the little boy reflectively,--"I lay ef de creeturs had a bin
yer w'iles all dat clatterment gwine on dey'd a lef' bidout tellin'
anybody good-bye. All 'ceppin' Brer Rabbit. Bless yo' soul, he'd er
stayed fer ter see de fun, des lak he did dat t'er time w'en he skeer um
all so. I 'speck I done tole you 'bout dat."
"When he got the honey on him and rolled in the leaves?"
Uncle Remus thought a moment.
"Ef I make no mistakes in my 'membunce, dat wuz de time w'en he call
hisse'f de Wull-er-de-Wust."
The little boy corroborated Uncle Remus's memory.
"Well, den, dish yer wuz n'er time, en he lak ter skeer um plum out'n de
settlement. En it all come 'bout 'kaze dey wanter play smarty."
"Who wanted to play smarty, Uncle Remus?" asked the child.
"Oh, des dem t'er creeturs. Dey wuz allers a-layin' traps fer Brer
Rabbit en gittin' cotch in um deyse'f, en dey wuz allers a-pursooin'
atter 'im day in en day out. I aint 'nyin' but w'at some er Brer Rabbit
pranks wuz mighty ha'sh, but w'y'n't dey let 'im 'lone deyse'f?"
Naturally, the little boy was not prepared to meet these arguments, even
had their gravity been less impressive, so he said nothing.
"In dem days," Uncle Remus went on, "de creeturs wuz same lak folks. Dey
had der ups en dey had der downs; dey had der hard times, and dey had
der saf' times. Some seasons der craps 'ud be good, en some seasons
dey'd be bad. Brer Rabbit, he far'd lak de res' un um. W'at he'd make,
dat he'd spen'. One season he tuck'n made a fine chance er goobers, en
he 'low, he did, dat ef dey fetch 'im anywhars nigh de money w'at he
'speck dey would, he go ter town en buy de truck w'at needcessity call
fer.
"He aint no sooner say dat dan ole Miss Rabbit, she vow, she did, dat
it be a scannul en a shame ef he don't whirl in en git sevin tin cups
fer de chilluns fer ter drink out'n, en sevin tin plates fer 'm fer ter
sop out 'n, en a coffee-pot fer de fambly. Brer Rabbit say dat des
zackly w'at he gwine do, en he 'low, he did, dat he gwine ter town de
comin' We'n'sday."
Uncle Remus paused, and indulged in a hearty laugh before he resumed:
"Brer Rabbit wa'n't mo'n out'n de gate 'fo' Miss Rabbit, she slap on 'er
bonnet, she did, en rush 'cross ter Miss Mink house, en she aint bin
dar a minnit 'fo' she up'n tell Miss Mink dat Brer Rabbit done promise
ter go ter town We'n'sday comin' en git de chilluns sump'n'. Co'se, w'en
Mr. Mink come home, Miss Mink she up'n 'low she want ter know w'at de
reason he can't buy sump'n' fer his chilluns same ez Brer Rabbit do fer
his'n, en dey quo'll en quo'll des lak folks. Atter dat Miss Mink she
kyar de news ter Miss Fox, en den Brer Fox he tuk'n got a rakin' over de
coals. Miss Fox she tell Miss Wolf, en Miss Wolf she tell Miss B'ar, en
't wa'n't long 'fo' ev'ybody in dem diggin's know dat Brer Rabbit gwine
ter town de comin' We'n'sday fer ter git his chilluns sump'n'; en all de
yuther creeturs' chilluns ax der ma w'at de reason der pa can't git
_dem_ sump'n'. So dar it went.
"Brer Fox, en Brer Wolf, en Brer B'ar, dey make up der mines, dey did,
dat ef dey gwine ter ketch up wid Brer Rabbit, dat wuz de time, en dey
fix up a plan dat dey'd lay fer Brer Rabbit en nab 'im w'en he come back
fum town. Dey tuck'n make all der 'rangerments, en wait fer de day.
"Sho' nuff, w'en We'n'sday come, Brer Rabbit e't he brekkus 'fo'
sun-up, en put out fer town. He tuck'n got hisse'f a dram, en a plug er
terbarker, en a pocket-hankcher, en he got de ole 'oman a coffee-pot, en
he got de chillun sevin tin cups en sevin tin plates, en den todes
sundown he start back home. He walk 'long, he did, feelin' mighty
biggity, but bimeby w'en he git sorter tired, he sot down und' a
black-jack tree, en 'gun to fan hisse'f wid one er der platters.
"W'iles he doin' dis a little bit er teenchy sap-sucker run up'n down de
tree en keep on makin' mighty quare fuss. Atter w'ile Brer Rabbit tuk'n
shoo at 'im wid de platter. Seem lak dis make de teenchy little
sap-sucker mighty mad, en he rush out on a lim' right over Brer Rabbit,
en he sing out:
"'_Pilly-pee, pilly-wee!
I see w'at he no see!
I see, pilly-pee,
I see, w'at he no see!_'
"He keep on singin' dis, he did, twel Brer Rabbit 'gun ter look 'roun',
en he aint no sooner do dis dan he see marks in de san' whar sum un
done bin dar 'fo' 'im, en he look little closer en den he see w'at de
sap-sucker drivin' at. He scratch his head, Brer Rabbit did, en he 'low
ter hisse'f:
"'Ah-yi! Yer whar Brer Fox bin settin', en dar de print er he nice bushy
tail. Yer whar Brer Wolf bin settin', en dar de print er he fine long
tail. Yer whar Brer B'ar bin squattin' on he hunkers, en dar de print
w'ich he aint got no tail. Dey er all bin yer, en I lay dey er hidin'
out in de big gully down dar in de holler.'
"Wid dat, ole man Rab. tuck'n put he truck in de bushes, en den he run
'way 'roun' fer ter see w'at he kin see. Sho' nuff," continued Uncle
Remus, with a curious air of elation,--"sho' nuff, w'en Brer Rabbit git
over agin de big gully down in de holler, dar dey wuz. Brer Fox, he 'uz
on one side er de road, en Brer Wolf 'uz on de t'er side; en ole Brer
B'ar he 'uz quiled up in de gully takin' a nap.
"Brer Rabbit, he tuck'n peep at um, he did, en he lick he foot en roach
back he h'ar, en den hol' his han's 'cross he mouf en laff lak some
chilluns does w'en dey t'ink dey er foolin' der ma."
"Not me, Uncle Remus--not me!" exclaimed the little boy promptly.
"Heyo dar! don't kick 'fo' you er spurred, honey! Brer Rabbit, he seed
um all dar, en he tuck'n grin, he did, en den he lit out ter whar he
done lef he truck, en w'en he git dar he dance 'roun' en slap hisse'f on
de leg, en make all sorts er kuse motions. Den he go ter wuk en tu'n de
coffee-pot upside down en stick it on he head; den he run he gallus thoo
de han'les er de cups, en sling um crosst he shoulder; den he 'vide de
platters, some in one han' en some in de yuther. Atter he git good en
ready, he crope ter de top er de hill, he did, en tuck a runnin' start,
en flew down like a harrycane--_rickety, rackety, slambang!_"
The little boy clapped his hands enthusiastically.
"Bless yo' soul, dem creeturs aint year no fuss lak dat, en dey aint
seed no man w'at look lak Brer Rabbit do, wid de coffee-pot on he head,
en de cups a-rattlin' on he gallus, en de platters a-wavin' en a-shinin'
in de a'r.
"Now, mine you, ole Brer B'ar wuz layin' off up de gully takin' a nap,
en de fuss skeer 'im so bad dat he make a break en run over Brer Fox. He
rush out in de road, he did, en w'en he see de sight, he whirl 'roun' en
run over Brer Wolf. Wid der scramblin' en der scufflin', Brer Rabbit got
right on um 'fo' dey kin git away. He holler out, he did:
"'Gimme room! Tu'n me loose! I'm ole man Spewter-Splutter wid long
claws, en scales on my back! I'm snaggle-toofed en double-j'inted! Gimme
room!'
"Eve'y time he'd fetch a whoop, he'd rattle de cups en slap de platters
tergedder--_rickety, rackety, slambang!_ En I let you know w'en dem
creeturs got dey lim's tergedder dey split de win', dey did dat. Ole
Brer B'ar, he struck a stump w'at stan' in de way, en I aint gwine tell
you how he to' it up 'kaze you won't b'leeve me, but de nex' mawnin'
Brer Rabbit en his chilluns went back dar, dey did, en dey got nuff
splinters fer ter make um kin'lin' wood all de winter. Yasser! Des ez
sho' ez I'm a-settin' by dish yer h'ath."